Ts and Cs like mama used to make

We’re just going to leave this here. Nice one, PizzaExpress. (Apple and Spotify, take note.)

Wondering when and where you can use [this offer]? Check out the terms below.

1. Feel free to use your voucher all day Sunday - Thursday until 29 May 2016 inclusive.

2. Your code gives you 30% off your food bill, including the Piccolo menu.

3. Feel free to use it to dine in and on takeaways, but bear in mind that it can’t be used when ordering online.

4. You can’t use it with other promotions or set menus (such as Tesco/Nectar codes, NUS extra and Tastecard).

5. To claim your discount, simply hand the voucher to your waiter when getting the bill.

6. A code can only be used once, so why not make the most of it and bring your friends – it will cover your whole party. Sadly we can’t exchange it for cash, just great value food.

7. Here are a few places you won’t be able to use it: PizzaExpress Ashford McArthur Glen, Brent Cross, Olympia or at live music venues. When sports/entertainment events are taking place nearby, you also won't be able to use it at: PizzaExpress Baker Street, Fulham Broadway, Fulham Road 363, Fulham Road 895, O2 North Greenwich, Twickenham or Wembley. To check upcoming events, visit: pizzaexpress.com/eventexclusions.

8. Brought to you by: PizzaExpress, Hunton House, Highbridge Estate, Oxford Road, Uxbridge, UB8 1LX.

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